


Skinny Love

by theflyingzimmergaudi



Category: Nordic Combined RPF, Sports RPF
Genre: Cutesy, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, can't write smut to save my life, just shy boys beings shy and cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:33:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23756194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theflyingzimmergaudi/pseuds/theflyingzimmergaudi
Summary: Skinny love - (n.) when two people love each other, but are too shy to admit it, yet they show it anyway
Relationships: Ilkka Herola/Eero Hirvonen
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> Concept art by @[marsilainen](https://marsilainen.tumblr.com/) who also very kindly did a bit of proofreading for me, so any remaining errors are entirely mine. 
> 
> The story is based on the picture in the middle (and my vivid imagination). 
> 
> I do not personally know any of the people mentioned in this piece of fiction, nor do I wish for any of them (or anyone close to them) ever seeing this, so...please. 🙈

[ ](https://ibb.co/R7F4gbs)

”And now the gold and the silver medalist together, please.”

Eero hopped to join Ilkka on the highest podium as instructed by the photographer. He was faced with smirking Ilkka who stepped aside to make room for him on the platform.

”Enjoy it while it lasts,” his friend said with a wink and although for a second Eero’s breath got  
caught in his throat, he managed a huffed laugh in response.

”Don’t think I’ll let you go so easily next time,” he said, earning a cheerful laugh from Ilkka.  
Eero’s chest felt tight. 

”Just a little bit closer,” said the person aiming a camera at them.

Eero glanced at Ilkka who stepped closer to him and put his hand against Eero’s back while Eero rested his on Ilkka’s shoulder. Ilkka was warm and soft against him and Eero held back a blissful sigh.

Then Eero felt movement against his back. He tensed when he realised Ilkka was slowly moving his hand lower down Eero’s back, then reaching to his side until finally resting it on his hip. It took all of Eero’s self-control to maintain his poker face – and then Ilkka’s fingers brushed his. 

Just the tiniest, barely there touch, but it set Eero’s entire body ablaze. And just as quickly as it happened, it was over, as the photographer thanked them and Ilkka let go of him, and Eero had to touch his fingers where Ilkka had touched, just to feel if there was a burn there. The moment had gone by so fast Eero wasn’t even entirely sure it had happened at all and looked for reassurance in Ilkka’s eyes, but the boy was concentrated on collecting his prices from the ground.

Silently Eero turned away and started to make his way to the parking lot. Halfway there, Ilkka jogged to catch him. 

”Wanna go get dinner? There’s a nice place just behind the corner. Their steak is to die for.”

”Sure,” Eero smiled. ”Just give me the address and I’ll meet you there,” he said and fumbled the car keys from his pocket.

”Just hop in, I’ll just drop my things off at my place and we can walk from there. You better leave your car here, I don’t think you can get your car parked anywhere near the restaurant,” Ilkka proposed as he opened the trunk of his car and threw his bags in. ”It’s not far from here anyway, and a little extra exercise after the steak won’t do you no harm,” he continued with a mischievous face. Eero raised his eyebrows. 

”Are you implying I’m unfit?” he exclaimed amusedly, putting his hands on his hips.

” _I’m_ not implying you’re unfit. Thirty seconds behind the lead in the finish line _is_ implying you’re unfit.”

 _Prick_ , Eero thought and eyed Ilkka up and down. _A complete, devilishly handsome prick_.

”You had a home field advantage,” he said and squinted his eyes. ”Had we been on my favourite track back at home–”

”You’re such a sore loser. Just get in the car, I’m starving!” Ilkka laughed and Eero couldn’t help  
but giggle too.

_Yep, a total prick._

  
*~*~*

Ilkka had been right, for once; the steak was deadly good. So good that Eero would’ve ordered another XXL portion, had there been any room left in his stomach. And Ilkka had been right about the place as well; it was so cozy that they ended up spending the whole rest of the evening there, drinks and snacks one tastier than the other being carried to their table by waiters who obviously knew Ilkka and chatted with him like old friends did. It was evident this was not Ilkka’s first time there. Eero watched admiringly how effortlessly Ilkka performed small-talk with these people like it was the most natural thing in the world. He wished he was as easygoing as his friend, who never seemed to stumble with his words and always found the right expressions and funniest jokes. Eero was sure that everyone who ever met Ilkka always fell a bit in love with him after five minutes of interacting with him; he had that kind of effect on the people around him.

“Shall I bring you guys more beer?” Eero was snapped out of his thoughts by the waiter collecting the empty pint in front of him.

“Please,” Ilkka smiled and gave the waiter his glass.

“Uhh, I still have to drive home, so..” Eero mumbled. Ilkka waved his hand at him.

“Oh come on, it’s 9 o’clock already, you can barely keep your eyes open, and after stuffing yourself with that steak you’ll just fall asleep at the wheel and end up in the gutter and who’s Pede gonna blame for letting you drive in that state, huh? So forget about it and have another beer with me, alright? Who knows when’s the next time we get to have a night off like this? Crash at mine for the night and leave in the morning when you’re fresh and relaxed.”

Ilkka made a valid point. He was feeling a bit drowsy, and driving two hours late at night didn’t sound particularly alluring to him. What _did_ sound alluring was another beer and more time spent with Ilkka. He shrugged and looked at the waiter.

“Another beer it is, then.”

*~*~*

  
It wasn’t until eleven in the evening when they asked for the check. They had spent hours just talking about stupid stuff: the summer that had passed, their favourite memories from last season, their expectations and predictions for the upcoming one, and basically anything else that crossed their minds in that moment. Talking about anything with Ilkka was easily one Eero’s favourite things in the world. The way their dynamics worked made Eero feel relaxed and warm inside.

Or it would have, if Ilkka hadn’t been touching his hand _all. The. Fucking. Time._

The first time he did it, they had reached for the pepper mill at the same time, so Eero assumed it was just an accident. No big deal. Didn’t mean Eero’s heart didn’t skip a beat, but still, it was nothing.

The next time it happened, Ilkka’s fingers clasped around his as he rested them on his pint. “Oops, wrong glass,” Ilkka had chuckled, and Eero had thought nothing of it. _Once is a chance,_ _twice is coincidence_.

The third time it happened, Eero had straightened his forearm on the table while they were waiting for their desserts, and Ilkka had gently, _so very gently_ , brushed his fingertips on the back of Eero’s hand, doing a circular motion before pulling them back to his fist and starting to tap rhythmically on the table, eyes wandering around the restaurant.

_Third time is a pattern._

And after that, Eero stopped counting.

By the time they got out of the restaurant, the sun had already set and it was quite chilly, but Eero was sweating. He had gone nearly mad with how Ilkka had so casually been fondling his hand every now and then while they talked, more frequently as the evening progressed, right there in the restaurant for everyone to see (even if it was dim-lighted and quiet there at the time). Eero had been paralyzed, unable and unwilling to move his hand away from Ilkka’s reach, not knowing what he would do when the next touch came, yet eagerly hoping it would come soon. And it always did, and Eero’s head felt a little dizzier each time. He wasn’t sure how he was going to be able to walk all the way back to Ilkka’s apartment. 

They kept talking (or more like Ilkka did and Eero mostly listened, but that, too, was part of their dynamic), and Eero swore that every other step, Ilkka’s knuckles brushed his, each touch more obvious and forceful than the other, leaving a tingly burn on them. It was becoming difficult to breathe.

What Ilkka was attempting to achieve with this Eero didn’t dare guess, but he seemed so insistent in his efforts that Eero was beginning to wonder if Ilkka was trying to provoke him somehow, fishing for some kind of reaction from him. And if that was true, Eero would hate to be so easily defeated, because Ilkka had been right: he was a sore loser, and he had already lost to Ilkka once today. 

Eero supposed there was only one way to find that out, and he made a mental decision to make his first move when they would reach the end of the next block.

When they did, he pressed the back of his hand against Ilkka’s, who stopped talking mid-sentence. It was just a fleeting second before Ilkka continued his story, and for most people it would’ve gone past unnoticed, but not for Eero – he had known Ilkka long enough to become familiar with his speech patterns, and abrupt pauses were not part of it.

 _It seems two can play this game_ , Eero thought and touched Ilkka’s hand again.

This time Ilkka seemed untroubled and immediately returned the favour, all the while reminiscing a road trip in Central Europe with the team back in the days, before Eero came in the picture, although Eero had stopped paying attention to the details of it a few blocks away. The little game they had invented was too intense, too intoxicating for Eero to be able to concentrate on anything else. For him, there was only the cool late summer night, a cute boy walking by his side and a warm hand touching his ever so tenderly. 

And as if Eero’s heart wasn’t already halfway out of his chest from pounding so much, it was definitely close to stopping altogether when just a few more block away from their destination, Ilkka’s little finger curled around Eero’s.

Neither of them said anything for the rest of the walk. Eero’s breath, his hand, his everything was trembling, and it wasn’t because of the cold, and Ilkka only tightened his grip on his finger. He didn’t let go when he unlocked the front door to his building, nor when they entered the elevator and ascended up to the 8th floor which to Eero felt like an eternity, but at the same time he didn’t want it to ever end if it meant Ilkka would be sort-of-holding his hand. At Ilkka’s door Eero had to bite his lip to prevent a disappointed sight from leaving his mouth when Ilkka had to let go of his hand to ease the door open with both hands. 

“Should call someone about this damn door..” Eero heard Ilkka mumble as he disappeared in the dark hallway and it took Eero a few seconds to realise he was supposed to follow him inside. He forced his legs to move and entered the apartment.

Once inside, Eero was faced with a problem: he didn’t know where and how he should stand, where to put his hands, where to look, what to say, or in any way what was going to happen next. He watched as Ilkka tidied up the living room, collecting clothes and books and charger cables in his hands and shoving them in seemingly random drawers.

“You don’t mind sleeping on the couch, do you? Oh, and I can give you a new electric toothbrush head, if you’d like? You know where the bathroom is, take a shower if you like,  
there are towels in the top cabinet,” he rambled on and asked a few more questions but Eero’s own train of thought wasn’t fast enough to follow Ilkka’s in the prevailing circumstances. Not knowing how to respond to so many different propositions at once, Eero settled for a quiet “Okay” and fiddled with his fingers that seemed empty and without a purpose now that Ilkka wasn’t touching them anymore. 

At his response, Ilkka stopped fussing about and looked at him in silence. Eero caught a glimpse of dark blue when his eyes met Ilkka’s, but only for a second, as the other boy was quick to move his gaze away and to the couch between them.

“Here, I’ll make a bed for you,” Ilkka said softly and started pulling the mattress of the couch. From a storage box under one of the cushions he pulled out a pillow and a quilt and placed them on the mattress. Then, to Eero’s misery and horror, Ilkka stretched out on the couch, head held up by his arm as he lay on his side. 

“It’s comfy, or so I’ve been told. Matti slept on it for a month when his apartment was being remodeled. Sawed wood every night like a lumberjack,” he laughed. Eero remained standing at the end of the couch, still fidgeting his hands. He felt Ilkka’s eyes on him.

Silence filled the small apartment. Eero wasn’t sure if this was another game Ilkka wanted to play on him, and he was too terrified to find out this time. Instead, he stood in his living room feeling like a fool, waiting for Ilkka to say or do something because if anything, this night had taught him you could not predict the next move of Ilkka Herola.

And Eero certainly couldn’t have predicted what happened next.

Ilkka sat up on the couch, and before Eero was given the chance to prepare himself, he was being pulled down on the mattress. His body landed on the cushions with a soft thump, and Ilkka’s smaller body followed suit. Ilkka started giggling and it was so contagious that Eero started too, and for a minute they just lay there, face to face, laughing at nothing in particular.

The laughter died and was replaced by silence once again. But just when Eero was about to open his mouth to say something utterly pointless and irrelevant that would have awkwardly broken whatever spell they were under (such as “I’m gonna go brush my teeth”), Ilkka lifted his hand and touched Eero’s arm with his forefinger. And just like that, Eero was completely breathless again.

Ilkka trailed his finger up and down, all the way to his fingertips and then back to his shoulder, over his collarbone and down his chest, leaving a burning path on Eero’s skin wherever it touched. Eero was positive he was gonna pass out if he kept on holding his breath for too long, but he didn’t dare move an inch of his body, as if afraid to scare away an endangered animal that had mad a rare appearance. All he could do was look at Ilkka’s eyes as they followed his own finger across Eero’s body, focused and soft at the same time.

Ilkka’s finger found the underside of Eero’s shirt and started drawing patterns amongst his abs, causing Eero to involuntarily let out a long, desperate sigh, and the _prick_ had the audacity to smirk with a blink-and-you-miss-it kind of movement on his lips before becoming serious again. _He’s going to be the death of me_. 

Once Eero managed to even his breathing again, he raised his hand towards Ilkka and rested the whole of his palm against Ilkka’s neck. It was so hot under Eero’s touch it made the cooktop of a stove feel like ice, and the more Eero’s hand roamed on Ilkka’s body, the hotter it became. The sensation was a little too much, so Eero moved his hand back to where it had started its journey, right below Ilkka’s ear, thumb brushing his jawline.

The warmness radiating from Ilkka’s body and the smooth movements of Ilkka’s hand were enough to make Eero’s eyelids grow heavier and lull him to peaceful sleep, hand still on Ilkka’s neck, his pulse pumping rhythmically against his palm.

*~*~*

  
In the morning, Eero woke up with shivers. Eyes still closed, he stretched his hand in front of him, groping to find something warm there, but all he found was the back of the couch. He opened his eyes to find himself alone, and disappointment and embarrassment started creeping in his mind as he recalled the moments before dozing off the night before.

The bathroom door opened and a yawning Ilkka walked in the kitchen. Eero observed him silently as he loaded the coffee machine and gathered sandwich supplies from the fridge. When he turned to the living room, he noticed Eero looking at him and broke into a smile. Eero’s chest sank.

“Morning, “ Ilkka said.

“Hi,” was Eero’s insightful response.

“Breakfast?” Ilkka’s soft morning voice always made Eero melt like butter on a frying pan.

“Sure,” he said as he got up from the couch.

They sat in silence as they ate, and Eero was desperate to know what Ilkka was thinking, but the boy kept his eyes on his morning paper.

And his hand on top of Eero’s.

 _I guess that’ll have to do for now_ , Eero thought.

*~*~*

“I’ll walk you to your car,” Ilkka insisted when Eero was about to leave.

“You really don’t have to, I know the way,” Eero assured.

“I’ll walk you downstairs then,” Ilkka offered instead and was already out the door with Eero at his heels. 

The elevator ride was just as long as it had been the last time, but now, instead of holding his little finger, Ilkka was holding his hand, _his whole sweaty hand_ , and although they were going down, Eero felt like he was ascending to heaven. He laughed at himself for being so weak for this boy, and Ilkka’s face turned doubtful all of a sudden. _Now I’ve seen everything_ , Eero thought and squeezed his palm and was relieved to see Ilkka’s face soften again. 

Once on the ground floor and out of the elevator, they let go of each other’s hands and just stood there, facing each other.

“Hey, umm, th-thanks–“

Eero couldn’t get any farther in whatever he was going to say, because suddenly Ilkka’s lips were on his and Eero forgot how to breathe. His heart forgot how to beat. His brain forgot how to construct comprehensible thoughts that didn’t include the words “Ilkka” or “lips”. He was pretty sure his muscles would have failed on him too and made him crash on the ground as a pile of bones if Ilkka wasn’t holding him on the hips, about where his hand had been the day before on the podium.

And when he reacquired all those remarkable skills again, Ilkka was already gone.

*~*~*

  
Eero had been thinking about the kiss all the way home.

He had been thinking about it as he did his laundry and as he cooked.

He thought about it when he showered.

And now he was lying on his couch, unable to think about Ilkka and his lips, those soft lips that Eero knew every shape and shade of and which had haunted him at night for so many years. Eero touched his fingers to his own, as if attempting to find the traces of the kiss still there and somehow be able to relive the moment. 

He was going nuts, and he was going to stay nuts if he didn’t do something.

He grabbed his phone and started texting. He added a heart, just so see what it looked like there, but was sure to delete it before he sent the message. 

[ ](https://imgbb.com/)

“Oh FUCK!” he exclaimed as he noticed he has misplaced his thumb and hit ‘sent’ instead of backspace. “Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck,” he spluttered and tried to frantically unsend the message. However, all the blood escaped his face when he noticed Ilkka was already writing a reply. _Fuck fuck fuck, I fucked up_.

His phone slipped from his hands to the floor when he saw Ilkka’s reply. 

[ ](https://imgbb.com/)


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cute boys text, go to a summer cottage, have a sauna and enjoy each other's company.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading the first part! Here's part 2, set some time after part 1 (3 weeks? 2 months? whatever tickles your fancy ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ ).

Eero didn’t realize he had been dozing off on his couch after his lunch until the buzz of his phone startled him awake. Eero unlocked his phone and his lips curved into a wide smile when he read the text.

[ ](https://imgbb.com/)

Seeing the words made Eero’s heart melt. He had been texting with Ilkka almost daily ever since the night he spent at Ilkka’s. That isn’t to say they didn’t used to text each other before, but this had been a little different. They had still been chatting about the usual stuff; how successful – or sometimes unsuccessful – their workouts had been, how their jumping had improved, and how Leevi could still not shut up about their last camp competition he had majorly fucked up. But they had also been talking about...other stuff. Those conversations mainly happened late in the evening and always started with an innocent ’ _what are you up to right_ _now_ ’. Most times, they left Eero aching both in his chest and down in his pants. Eero tried not to think about those exchanges too much.

Eero turned to his side, hugged a pillow to his chest and replied. His thumb ghosted over a heart emoji, but this time he settled for a simple smiling face.

[ ](https://imgbb.com/)

He stared at the smiley.

_Coward._

He groaned, bit his lip and braced himself for another message, not caring if he made a fool of himself for double texting.

[ ](https://imgbb.com/)

Despite having done this for weeks, Eero still wasn’t quite used to interacting like _this_ with his friend and teammate who he had known since they were clueless teenagers without a worry in the world. Or so it had seemed at the time.

Every time he watched Ilkka prepare his reply, Eero was equal parts excited and terrified; excited because chatting with Ilkka was his favourite pastime these days and he could have kept doing it for the rest of his days, terrified because for all he knew, Ilkka could be typing a ”it’s-been-fun-but-I-don’t-like-you-like-that-sorry-bro-take-care” kinda message and end it all in a nanosecond. Whatever ”it” was.

This time, however, Ilkka’s reply was something Eero certainly hadn’t been expecting.

[ ](https://imgbb.com/)

Eero’s mouth went dry.

_’Hang out.’_

_What the_ hell _was that supposed to mean?_

All kinds of crazy scenarios started playing in Eero’s head. Did Ilkka mean ’hang out’ as in packing their roller skis in the trunks of their cars, drive to some quiet road and pit themselves against each other until their eyes start to blur, or ’hang out’ as in ”let’s go get some döner and talk shit, Arttu and Leevi will be there too”. All of those they had done before and called it’ hanging out’.

And then there had been _that night_ , followed by _that morning_. Had that, too, been ’hanging out’ to Ilkka? Or had it been something else? 

Eero chewed on his finger nail and contemplated his answer, his alternatives so far being ' _Sure!_ ' (too eager?), ' _I’d like that'_ ( _definitely_ too eager) and ' _What do you have in mind'_ (waaaaaaay too suggestive), but before he could make up his mind, he saw Ilkka typing again.

[ ](https://imgbb.com/)

  
_Well._

Ilkka’s new texts didn’t really answer any of the questions in Eero’s head, and instead it created new ones: was it going to be just the two of them? Or had Ilkka indeed been asking other people to come too? Hell, it was the _family_ cottage, would the whole Herola extended family be there? Was he inviting Eero to stay the _whole_ weekend with him or to just stop by for afternoon coffee?

Eero supposed he would find out eventually (because he most definitely wasn’t going to ask), so he quickly typed his response.

[ ](https://imgbb.com/)

He had decided to play it safe an mimic Ilkka’s emoji, but seeing another heart in Ilkka’s next text with the address to the cottage almost made his own dysfunctional again.

The weekend couldn’t come soon enough.

*~*~*

[ ](https://imgbb.com/)

Ilkka looked at his own text to Eero and sighed.

 _Yeah, I miss you alright_. He sneered humorlessly.

The thing was, ‘Miss you’ didn’t even begin to cover it. What he really wanted to say was _I miss your voice. I miss your face, your smile. I miss that little curve of your nose and your silky cheeks_ _that blush so easily. I miss your skin and how smooth and warm it felt under my fingertips. I miss your body_ _close to mine, your lips on my lips_.

Ilkka closed his eyes and re-imagined the moment for the millionth time in the past few weeks. It was driving him insane.

Although they had been exchanging messages frequently since then, some of them being more... _vivid_ than others, it wasn’t enough for Ilkka. He needed to have Eero near him like that again soon, to feel Eero’s skin on his anew, or else he’d lose his mind completely. He needed it to happen before the season started, because then they’d be roommates again, back in business, and there’d be no time to explore whatever there was beginning to build up between them. And if there was something Ilkka had learned as he had grown up and gathered more life experience after all his hardships, it was that life was too precious to spend collecting what-ifs and avoiding failure. He had understood that when you’re given a chance, you should always take it, and damn the consequences because whatever happened after that is just part of life.

He had taken the chance that day with Eero, and he wasn’t planning on looking back. Coming such a long way to where he was now, he simply couldn’t, nor did he want to. He didn’t want to go back to stealthy glances and stolen touches. He wanted to touch Eero with purpose and clear intention, look at him without fear. But oh, that was the hardest part, for Eero’s eyes were so kind and innocent that Ilkka barely felt worthy of their gaze on himself. To him, everything in Eero was pure and without fault, and he’d hate to be the one to tarnish it in any way.

But he had to do this now. He had to let Eero to know. 

*~*~*

“Looks like you found your way here just fine,” Ilkka called out as soon as Eero turned off the engine of his Volkswagen. Ilkka was leaning against the railing of the front porch of a small log cabin, smirking.

“Yeah,” Eero laughed, took his backpack from the front seat and strode across the scrubby lawn to the porch.

“Hi,” he smiled shyly.

“Hi,” Ilkka said quietly and held his gaze for a few seconds. Then he stood up and gestured towards a smaller hut to Eero’s left.

“Help me carry firewood, if you’re planning on having a sauna later.”

Eero did as he was told, because he sure was planning on that.

*~*~*

  
While they waited for the sauna to heat up, they had spread themselves on the old armchairs in the great-room of the cabin, warming themselves by the hearth blazing from the fireplace. The weather outside was rainy and chilly, but it seemed Ilkka had done a good job warming up the place before Eero’s arrival.

They slipped into an easy conversation about everything that came to their minds. Ilkka told about the history of the old cabin and reminisced his most memorable family holidays there in his own, sarcastic way and Eero laughed until his stomach hurt and tears formed in the corners of his eyes. Eero’s childhood home was by the lake, which was a privilege in itself, but he couldn’t help but wonder what sorts of fun times he had missed in his life due to the lack of a summer cottage. Their family holidays usually took place in a rental cottage in Lapland or at a beach in some southern country. He understood perfectly why Ilkka had wanted to come here for a little time off.

Another one of Ilkka’s stories ended and silence surrounded them, broken only by the cracking of the firewood and the light tap of raindrops on the windowsills. Eero let his eyes wander around the room for a while, but eventually they found what they always did. No matter where Eero was, Ilkka would always be his favourite thing to watch. 

He looked into Ilkka’s impossibly blue eyes, and for what felt like eternity, Ilkka looked right back into his, until clearing his throat and looking at his watch. 

“The sauna’s probably ready by now. Shall we?”

A heat spread to Eero’s cheeks. _Oh god, here we go_.

“Let’s go,” he said.

*~*~*

  
It wasn’t the first time he had been in a sauna with Ilkka.

And it certainly wasn’t the first time he had seen him in all his naked glory.

But after all that had occurred since the last time he had, this was...different.

First of all, neither of them had said a single word since sitting down on the benches.

Second of all, never before had Eero had to focus so much of his willpower on keeping certain  
bodily functions under control.

It was getting rather uncomfortable, and not only because it was over eighty degrees in the sauna. And it only got worse when Ilkka shifted his thigh against Eero’s,  
whose first instinct was to flinch away, but after he managed to compose himself, he moved it back to where it had been, touching Ilkka’s. 

They stayed like that for a while, staring at the wall in front of them, still not saying anything.

Then Ilkka leaned over towards the water bucket at their feet, used a ladel to throw some water on the rocks, and when he returned to his previous position, he placed a palm firmly on Eero’s thigh.

And kept it there.

And Eero thought he was gonna pass out.

And as if that wasn’t enough to send Eero’s body to the flames of inferno, Ilkka started moving his hand up towards… 

Eero couldn’t think straight.

“Ineedsomeair,” he blurted and was out of the sauna. He hurried to the shower and poured his groin and whole body with icy water. _Fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK_. 

*~*~*

  
_Fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK_ , Ilkka thought to himself when he was left alone in the sauna.

He wanted Eero so bad. He knew, saw, that Eero wanted him too. Why was it still so difficult for them to give in to each other other than in soulless letters on a phone screen?

He listened to Eero showering, and when he was certain his friend was out of the bathroom, he washed off the sweat on his body, wrapped a towel against his hips and walked across the yard to the main building where he assumed Eero had left to, as there was no sign of him near the sauna. 

And there he found him, hair damp, oversized hoodie covering his beautiful skin, arms wrapped around his knees as he sat on the floor, staring into the fireplace. Ilkka sighed quietly and advanced slowly towards him. He sat down next to him on the soft reindeer fur.

“Sorry, I–,” he heard the other boy start quietly, but Ilkka cut him off.

“No,” he said. “No. Let’s not be sorry.” He turned his body towards Eero and patiently waited for him to look at him, because this time he was determined to not look away. _For once in your_ _life, Ilkka, don’t look away_.

When Eero finally did, Ilkka’s words got caught in his throat, his mouth falling open. _Lord, he_ _was gorgeous_. He breathed in and tried to recall what it was that he had wanted to say, the many things he had planned to say while he was still in the shower, but none of them came to his mind. 

So instead he kissed him.

For a second Eero stayed completely still and Ilkka was beginning to think it had all been a big, foolish misunderstanding, but then, _oh god_ , then Eero started moving his lips against Ilkka’s and it was soft and wet and wonderful and Ilkka’s mind was spinning. 

He brought his hands to Eero’s chest and carefully pushed him towards the floor. Eero’s hoodie was spotty with water from Ilkka’s hair and chest, and his rib cage expanded as he breathed in. Ilkka caressed the sides of Eero’s body, earning a quiet whimper from the boy under him. The look on Eero’s face was better than Ilkka had ever even dared to imagine during their late evening WhatsApp conversations, and if destiny had decided for him to become blind tomorrow, he would have give up his eyesight willingly, knowing he had once seen the most beautiful sight in the whole wide world.

He lowered himself on Eero and his lips found Eero’s again in another hungry, desperate kiss. Then they found Eero’s neck and his collarbone peeking from the collar of his hoodie. His hands roamed underneath it, feeling Eero’s soft skin that felt even more magnificent than he remembered and had imagined in his mind late at night, in his bed, eyes closed.

With rushed movements and breathy laughs in between, Eero’s hoodie and Ilkka’s towel and _everything_ was off, nothing between their skins as they finally, _blissfully_ gave in.

*~*~*

Eero woke up to pair of fingers travelling up and down his torso. Without opening his eyes, he smiled and stretched his hands over his head. Sleeping on the floor wasn’t ideal, but they had been too worn out to move anywhere after everything they had done the night before. And _wow_ , what they had done.

Noticing Eero had regained consciousness, Ilkka started peppering his bare chest with quick, wet kisses. Eero giggled at the sensation and brought his hand to the back of Ilkka’s neck. He sighed softly when Ilkka finally stopped and buried his face against the crook or Eero’s neck, nuzzling against it.

Eero grimaced when an embarrassingly loud growl sounded from his stomach. He remembered they hadn’t eaten anything since the sausages they had roasted shortly after Eero had arrived. He had brought some barbecue to be grilled after the sauna but it was left forgotten in the cooler bag as the two of them had become...otherwise occupied.

“Do we have breakfast?” he asked sleepily.

Ilkka cuddled against him and his lips brushed his ear as he whispered:

“I just had mine.”

Eero felt heat rising on his cheeks and raised his eyebrows.

“That so?”

“Mmh-mmh.” Eero felt Ilkka’s lips curving in a smile against his ear. Eero couldn’t help his own doing the same.

“Well.” Eero licked his lips. “In that case.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos and comments are highly appreciated. <3 
> 
> Feel free to hit me up on tumblr: @[theflyingfeeling](https://theflyingfeeling.tumblr.com/)


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